...or at least one that involves playing a musical instrument.

Anyway, I scan the Craigslist free section almost every day because I'm nuts for random free shit. Also, you never know when something completely cool will appear, like that cardboard Han Solo standee that I found the day of Cory's birthday. Tonight, there was a post so mind-rending, it required reposting:

SUBJECT: MY DAD ROCK TO IT

BODY: and so did I , now it's your's free Late 1970; could be early 80's don't know but it still rocks and it's free........ with speakers that are still working

In closing, I still don't know what it is he and his dad rock to but I kinda want one.

Feeling: amused
Listening: "40 Days And Nights" by Protein

If you are cooking and get your hands covered in lime juice, be sure to wash it off before going out in the sun. Lime juice contains a chemical called a psoralen that can cause discomfort, burns, blisters, or worse when exposed to direct sunlight. The medical name for the health issue is phytophotodermatitis and its effects range from annoying to totally nasty. (I'll spare you the photo evidence.)

In closing, you don't have to attend the tropical medicine lectures I videotape every week, just wait for me to bring you the good bits.

Feeling: thoughtful
Listening: "Amsterdam" by Guster

There's a downside to making ringtones out of your favorite songs and then assigning them to the callers in your life. So, I'm putting together a music playlist to provide dishes-doing distraction because there's nothing worse than washing silverware by hand in total silence. In went a dollop of Royal Jelly. I poured in something from The Scene. Then, for flavor, I sprinkled in a few tracks from the non-existent soundtrack to Real Genius.

Awhile later, up to my arms in scrubbing bubbles, I heard the opening to "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears, dropped the soapy pot, rapidly wiped my hands, and opened my phone because my sister was calling...except, no.

In closing, there's also the problem of singing along while I pick up the calls. Heather can tell you how often I've answered the phone singing, "Welcome to your life!"

Located: The kitchen (where the kitsch belongs)
Feeling: hungry
Listening: "Generator" by Royal Jelly

I asked at the front counter of undergraduate library where, on the website, I could access the list of course reserves for a given class. She showed me the link from the homepage and said, "So, all they have to do is click on this link here, put in your name, and then all your students will be able to see the materials you put on reserve."

In closing, I guess I could also interpret her reply as meaning that I look very professorly but...nah, I'm old.

EDIT: according to Google Maps, given no further information, Odegaard is a field somewhere in North Dakota.

Located: Odegaard
Feeling: discontent

This one is for Lindsay, straight up. But don't worry, I have something for the rest of you too: A Group of Images and One That Does Not Belong. If you don't read Dinosaur Comics and/or did not click the links to this series of videos by Jason Eppink, you should do so now. My favorite (and the most political) is the third episode.

In closing, Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Feeling: accomplished
Listening: "Maple Leaf Rag" by Adam Fulara

A late-night idea spurred by Lindsay's introduction of the Song Chart meme. I actually like my second entry better because it's a graph type I conceived and illustrated myself rather than whipped up in Visio. Though, I am pleased with the two-outcome box labeled, "Still here?"

In closing, I think I'm storing pictures in three or four places online and that just won't do.

Feeling: amused
Listening: "Japanese Girls" by Robbers on High Street

I tell you, the convenience store that's three doors up the street from me definitely lives up to the label and I visit it far more often than is warranted by the prices. It's nice to know that, just a few steps from my apartment, I can find not only the traditional soda, beer, and candy but bags of rice, canned olives, tube socks, and wire cutters.

In closing, if I lived above a 24-hour Chinese restaurant, my life would be complete.

Located: near the convenience store
Feeling: appreciative
Listening: "Spiral Like Spirits" by An April March

I just saw the trailer for Chaos Theory. Can we just have a deathmatch between Ryan Reynolds and Jason Lee to decide who stays and who goes? (And if Jason Lee wins, can we convince him to never do another family film?)

In closing, seeing as both of them are stuck in guest appearances and cartoon voices, the Kathy Griffin v. Vicki Lewis bout has been postponed for irrelevance.

Feeling: flirty
Listening: "Washin' and Wonderin'" by Stroke 9

I know it's the weekend and hardly anyone is reading this, let alone people with advanced skills in mathematics who want to spend their Saturday doing combinatorics for me but....

Last night, while playing poker, Todd made a joke that a hand with at least one card from every suit should be called a Suit Sampler and have some value or a place in the established ranks of poker hands. It was a good joke that stuck with us throughout the evening and even carried over into today when Jake and I were playing poker on FaceBook. So, I got to thinking what the odds of this particular hand would be.

Looking at the poker probability formulas on Wikipedia proved intimidating. (I'd prefer using somewhere other than Wikipedia but I didn't find any other websites that list the formulas alongside their final values.) I understand factorials and I believe I've sussed the formula for a combination without repetitions. What I'm not doing correctly is creating a formula that will give me my answer. The hand must contain five cards where the following is true:

- All four suits are represented (1 card each of three suits, 2 cards of the fourth)
- No pairs are present (by extension, no three- nor four-of-a-kind either)
- No straights are present

At first, I was thinking (¹³ ₁)(⁴ ₁)⁴(⁴⁸ ₁) but, if I understand any of the combinatorics that I've just taught myself today, that doesn't account for removing the pairs and straights. The problem is that I can't just subtract the raw numbers for possible pairs and straights because those include cases that don't fall within the set I've just defined. (For example, I don't have to subtract out 4♠ 4♦ 3♣ 2♣ 7♦ because it doesn't have any ♥s but it is included in the number 1,098,240 that's equal to the number of possible pairs.) Is there anybody on my friends list who can help me in my mathematical quest?

In closing, for bonus points, let's figure the frequency and odds for 7-card games. ('Cause you know we all play Hold 'Em.)

Feeling: curious
Listening: "Hard to Beat" by Hard-Fi

VoicePost 53K 0:15

“Snow what the hell is this? It's April 18th it's spring totally spring, totally and completely spring. Snow what is this?” Auto-Transcribed Voice Post